Listen

  • Allow the person to express feelings.

  • Take suicide threats seriously.

  • Be non-judgmental.

  • Say things such as:

    • "I'm here for you."

    • "Let's talk."

    • "I care about what happens to you."

    • "It's not unusual to feel this way."

    • "You're not crazy, it just feels that way."

  • Let him or her know depression is treatable.

  • Show interest and support.

Ask

  • Ask:

    • "Are you having suicidal thoughts?"

    • "Are you thinking of killing yourself?"

  • Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.

  • Don't act shocked. This will put distance between you.

  • Don't be sworn to secrecy.

  • Say things such as "You are too important to me. I can't keep this a secret."

  • Don't worry about being disloyal to the individual.

Take Action

  • Get professional help for the person

  • If the person is in crisis, don't leave him or her alone.

  • If possible, remove potential weapons, drugs and alcohol. DO NOT put yourself in danger.

  • Tell the person that alternatives are available, but do not offer empty words of reassurance ("You’ll feel better in the morning", etc.)

  • Don't leave it up to them to get help by themselves. See that appointments for professional evaluation and treatment are made.

  • You can say things such as:

    • "Let's go talk to someone who can help."

    • "Go see someone for me; I don't want to worry; I can't leave here until I know you are safe."

You may believe you can do the following, but you can NOT…

  • Help this person all by yourself- get support

  • Act for the person

  • Control how the person feels

  • Make the person kill him/herself

  • Stop the suicide if the person is determined and has the means

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